Mocking ʺThe Roomʺ at the Mayfair

Last Saturday I went to my first ever interactive screening of a movie, the "Mock-Along" screening of The Room at the Mayfair Theatre. 

For those of you who don't know, The Room is the worst movie ever. Seriously. It's been called "the Citizen Kane of terrible movies" by Entertainment Weekly, and has been riffed by the best, including Rifftrax and Kevin Murphy of Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Adult Swim has shown it for April Fools Day pretty regularly, and it essentially has gained the biggest bad-movie cult status since Rocky Horror. Except it's actually terrible and not just weird.

The plot? Hold on, let me see if I can find one. Okay so, this guy Johnny, (played by Tommy Wiseau, who also wrote, directed, produced, and executive produced the film) is in love with this girl, whatsername. Doesn't matter. And she starts cheating on him with his best friend, because women, amiright? There are other sub-plots going on, but since most of them go absolutely no where and are barely noticeable to begin with, they're not really worth explaining. Eventually Johnny finds out about the two-timing, and (SPOILER ALERT) kills himself. Everyone is sad. Girl gets her comeuppance. That bitch.

I can't even begin to explain how bad this movie is. If that plot summary doesn't give you a good idea, the movie is terribly acted by pretty much everyone but Wiseau seems to be the worst, filmed so poorly it goes in and out of focus and some scenes are used multiple times, and contains something like five cringe inducing sex scenes, set to the most godawful 80's love-music you've ever heard. In fact, the whole movie looks like it was made in the late 80s. It was made in 2003.

You need to see this movie. But more importantly, you need to see it with other people.

The Mayfair theatre in Ottawa invites you to see this wonderful travesty of cinema in a big, beautiful theatre full of people who have seen it probably too many times. On top of mocking and riffing on the movie as loudly and proudly as you want while it plays, there's actually a list of things to do while watching, including:

• Yelling "SPOON!" and throwing spoons at the screen when you see background art featuring a spoon (and there's a lot more of that then there's any reason to be)
• 
  
• Yelling "I PUT MY EVIL INTO YOU" when Lisa's mother boops her on the nose (Lisa's mother having cancer is one of many plot lines brought up and abandoned)
• 
  
• Saying "Hi" to Danny when he shows up and "Bye" when he leaves. He does this a lot, rarely staying on screen for more then five minutes.
•  
• Telling the movie to "FOCUS" when it unfocuses, which it does a lot. And if it happens to focus during one of too many horrible sex scenes, tell it to "UNFOCUS! OH GOD UNFOCUS!"

And that's just a sample, you can find the full list at the Mayfair's blog. 

I'd never seen The Room before but I'd heard a lot about it, and wanted to see it. I love movies "so bad they're good," and even a few movies that are so bad they're just bad. I was a little intimidated going to an interactive screening like this being a first timer, but honestly it made it even better. It's a lot easier to laugh at and make fun of a bad movie in a group, even if you don't know everyone in the group. It took me a bit to catch on to the riffing, even reading the list ahead of time, but once I did all inhibitions were dropped and I was yelling and throwing spoons with the rest of them. Sometimes the yelling made it a little hard to hear the movie, but let's be honest this isn't the sort of movie you need to pay attention to to understand.

I had a great time and would recommend this to everyone who loves movies so bad they're hilarious, and anyone looking for a night out in Ottawa. The Mayfair does a screening like this once a month, their next one is on October 19th, but their calender is available on the website for future screenings. And of course, if you're not in Ottawa you can do this exact same thing from home - I think this would make an awesome party. Especially since there's also a drinking game - but I warn you, you will get slammed.

Links to Tear You Apart:
The Room Wikipedia
The Room IMDB
The Trailer (on Youtube)
The Official Website

"HAHA WHAT A STORY MARK!"

The Ottawa Zine-Off!

This last Wednesday I went to the Ottawa Zine-Off, a little get-together for Canadian zinesters and interested parties. I was one of the interested parties.

I've never made a zine before, but since I made a chapbook I've been looking into them a lot. I definitely want to make one, it's just a matter of figuring out what exactly I'd like to make it about, and getting the materials and such together to make one. I've been reading tons of how-to guides and looking at all kinds of material on the net', but when I saw the event I knew it would be the perfect opportunity to see some examples and maybe get some advice. The event was put together by JM Francheteau, whose zine I review below, and Maxx Critical. I unfortunately didn't grab a copy of her zine, The Reverse Cougar Years, but it's available on Pressed's zine rack so you can get a copy there.

The idea behind the event was that zinesters were given about a month to make a zine, and at the event they would trade and see what everyone made in this tight deadline. Of course that was just a suggestion, not a requirement! The real purpose of the event was to meet up, trade, and get to know the community. It was held at Pressed on Gladstone Ave, a small and very cute cafe/sandwich shop that had great food and drinks available. Everyone set up their zines on the tables and sort of went up and down the rows checking stuff out and talking.

This was only the beginning, the crowd got a lot bigger!

By the time the introduction got underway everyone had already started trading and talking, and the little cafe filled up very quickly! Everyone introduced their zines and talked a bit about what they were about. Most of the zines were available for free or to trade, but a few distros were also present, offering zines from people not present for a small fee. Pressed also had their own zine rack, with lots of great offerings. I picked up everything I could get my hands on. Let's take a look at what I got!

A zine can be about anything - from personal experiences to features, interviews, poetry, and whatever. I think I got an excellent variety, which is exactly what I wanted since I'm often so unsure about what I want to write about. So, a super speedy review list!

Divine Leaves by Marilyn Irwin - A zine about reading tea leaves. I love tea, and I love fortune-telling, so I'll definitely be keeping this handy guide with me for my future steeped divinations. Marilyn also gave me a bag of jasmine tea with it, delicious!

Scoopin Times by Alanna Why - This is one of the zines that was available on the Pressed zine rack. It's about working at an ice cream parlour, and the adventures to be had with weird customers and desperate attempts to pass the time. Very funny, with awesome art.

Frank by Courtney Davis - A zine of short, beautiful poetry with photos (by Jean Weekes). I really liked the simple but sweet design of this zine.

The Triumph of Our Tired Eyes (#3) by Amber Dearest - This is one of a few zines I picked up put out by Fight Boredom distro, which specializes in queer, feminist and anarchist zines. All three of those things make my heart smile so I was pretty stoked to read these, and I was not disappointed! This was a personal zine/tour diary from Amber Dearest, which talks about everything from using karaoke to build self-confidence to sampling as much soda as humanly possible, and a lot more.

Night Shift by JM Francheteau and Abby Kashul - JM is one of the cool peeps who organized the event, and this zine he's done with Abby Kashul was one of the best I got. It includes a feature about  a trip to the Scientology centre in Ottawa, an interview with the author of the longest piece of fiction in the English language, and a few funny personal stories.

Telegram (#28) by Maranda Elizabeth - Another zine from the Fight Boredom distro. In this personal zine, Maranda talks about publishing a book and going on tour while dealing with mental health issues, finding strength in friends, and shitty landlords. I found this zine very touching, and definitely want to read more from Maranda.

Where They Will Sit: Prophecies in Modern Office Furniture Design by Craig Calhoun - a conceptual zine that's like apocalyptic feng shui, detailing the effects of furniture placement upon the fragile office worker psyche.

Deafula (#4) - The last zine I picked up by Fight Boredom, Deafula is a personal zine about an anonymous girl's experiences being deaf. This issue focuses on employment, getting a job, keeping a job, and the experiences she's had at jobs. I found this zine very insightful, and entertaining too.

Pancake by Sacha K.W. - The main focus of this zine is an interview/review with punk band Screaming Females, but it also includes a little personal article about weird casette tapes found in Sacha's parent's basement. Very funny, and a great review/interview.

Kid Scissor Hybrid (Best of Issues 1 - 4) by Various Authors - This zine contains a number of articles by different people, about art, family, and the wonders of the internet, as well as some reviews, some poetry, and some comics. That's uh, the short version. Every article in this is like it's own little world, wholly original and completely different.

Overall I had a great time and loved everything I got. I want to get out and read more zines, not just from the authors I've found here but from everywhere, and most of all, I want to make my own!

If you have a zine, send it to me! I will love it and cherish it, and I'll review it on this blog, (a full review, not one of these mini ones.)

If you have any zine making advice for me, I'm also totally open to that. Send it my way!

If I've mentioned you or your zine up there and you have a site you want me to link to, or maybe some info I missed, let me know and I'll add it!

MORE USEFUL LINKS:
Ottawa Zines Facebook Group

Canada Day at the Cottage

My Grandparents have a cottage in Bobcaygeon, and I've been going there nearly ever summer of my entire life so far. I started when I was a babboo, and I stopped going for a bit when I was a teenager because I usually had a job in the summer, but during my last few years of highschool my family started going for the Canada day weekend, and I usually managed to make it with them.

Now I live in Ottawa, and Canada day is a massive shindig here. But to me it's still nothing compared to Bobcaygeon.

Bobcaygeon is a very tiny lake town, mostly made up of a retirees with cottages or people who come in on boats. Pretty much everything there revolves around spending time outdoors, making it a summer paradise. I went there in the winter once, when I was 10 or 11, for March break. The snow was up to my waist. So in the winter it gets pretty quiet.

But in the summer, you can swim or fish or go for a boat ride in the lake, or you can go downtown and visit all the little shops (most of which are independently owned) or visit a bar or restaurant, (the patios are perf). The Kawartha Dairy is a must see for the best ice cream in the world, and at night a campfire is essential.

So here's a photodump of the cottage, from last year. I didn't take any good pictures this year because the weather was very cloudy and overcast, so I thought these ones turned out nicer. Apologies to any family members that accidentally photobombed!

Off the bridge heading into downtown

My Grandpa's garden (a small portion of it)

The front yard (the boathouse with the flag is my granparents)

Campfire! I don't remember who's legs those are

The moon and a pretty sky

Boats heading down to watch the fireworks

Fireworks!

And yes, this is the same Bobcaygeon from the Tragically Hip song. And yes, the constellations are that clear there - you haven't seen stars till' you've seen these. Unfortunately I don't have any pictures of those, so you'll just have to go and see for yourself!

One more selfie - chillin' by the lake

What I Did for My Birthday!

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June the 8th is my birthday, so last weekend I headed home to spend it with my parents and friends. I hadn't seen any of them since February, and it might be my last chance to be home until the Fall, so I made the most of my birthday, and tried to stretch it out for a week. I'm used to treating going home like a vacation, but this time it was really great! So here's my advice on how to milk your birthday for all it's worth.

I arrived home on THURSDAY, so my week really began on FRIDAY - and the first thing I did was GET PRIMPED. I got my hair done. But that's my first piece of awesome birthday advice: Go out and get something fancy done to your fabulous self - whether it's hair, nails, a massage or a full on spa treatment. FANCY AS FFFFffff-

On SATURDAY I went out for dinner with my parents. My apartment doesnt have an oven, and even if it did my cooking would probably still be pretty terrible, so being treated to something tasty and well made for once was great. So that's my second piece of advice - eat something good! And it doesn't necessarily have to be the usual cake if that's not your thing. Instead of cake I had a smoothie made with birthday cake flavoured vodka - delicious!

SUNDAY I met some friends for lunch and drinks, and we wandered around downtown London. They introduced me to some new vintage shops and Urban Outfitters. Even though there's a huge one in Ottawa I'd never been, and they had some pretty cool stuff! It was great getting to sit out in the sun and see my friends.

On MONDAY I chilled out. Anytime you plan a vacation or a big week anywhere, I say you should always plan a day where you just relax. Don't do anything. Don't spend any money, if you can. My apartment just has a standup shower, so I made use of the bathtub, and of the TV downstairs (another thing my apartment doesnt have). I watched Warm Bodies - and I loved it! I thoroughly recommend it to anyone who loves zombie movies OR well written love stories - or both, like me!

TUESDAY I went shopping with my mom, my sister, and my aunt - so it was a major girls day! Shopping is yet another thing I haven't had the chance to do in a long time. We also went for breakfast at Cora's, a place people have been recommending to me forever (being a breakfast for all meals advocate). I loved it, but the meals were a lot bigger than I was expecting! I got a banana and nutella crepe and it was bigger than my freaking head. Oh well, I never turn away leftovers!

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WEDNESDAY I was hoping to go to the beach, but the weather just wasn't very good. So instead my mom and I went for tea and antiquing (yes I like antiquing leave me alone) in Sparta, a really tiny town not too far from St.T. The stores are neat and the tea is good and the whole town is very cozy. I actually most recommend going there in the fall, that's when they have the best stuff for homes and gardens, but spring is good too!

THURSDAY I got my bike out and went downtown St.Thomas to go thrifting, which is seriously the best thing to do in a small town. I don't know what it is, but small town thrift stores just have better stuff. No offense, big cities. I got some new mugs (which I compulsively buy at thrift stores), some CDs, and some books. I also finally visited the Art Crypt, a new (well, new to me, it's been there about a year now) tattoo and body piercing shop downtown, and took a look at some of the beautiful art up there. If you're in St.T, I thoroughly recommend taking a look!

FRIDAY ended up being a double movie day. During the day I went to see Star Trek: Into Darkness with my mom. She's a Star Trek fan and probably understood more of the references than I did, but I still loved it! I didn't like the first movie as much, but this one was awesome. Even if you're not a Trekkie, you should totally see it. Later on I met a friend for ice cream, and we went to go see Man of Steel. I like Superman comics, but I don't like Superman movies - but this one did a good job of capturing the comics and the cartoons and was a really fun watch. Lot's of explosions and buildings falling down and muscles and stuff. Totally cool with me for a summer flick.

SATURDAY was my last day before my train back to Ottawa, so it was another chill-out day. I had to bring back some clothes and stuff for summer, so I sorted through my closet back home and spent most of the day in the backyard sipping drinks under an umbrella.

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Over all, this was all I could have asked for for a birthday week. I got to relax, have some fun, see my family and friends, and go pretty much everywhere there was to go back home. I was worried about trying to fit a summer of stuff into a week, but I realized the real key to this stuff is to relax - go with the flow and go with whatever comes your way. I had ideas for what I wanted to do when I got back but I tried not to plan anything for sure, so I always had something to do with lots of wiggle room.

I'm 23 years old now (but sometimes I still get ID'd) and I feel... pretty much the same. But I felt pretty good to begin with, so I guess that's a good thing!

WHERE U BIN?

Hi. It's been a long time since I posted here, and this is a post that is going to explain why.

Basically, I've been really busy, and have had lots of stuff to do! In March I started my internship at the National Gallery of Canada, and I spent all of March and April working 9-5, writing artist profiles, doing some social media stuff, and helping with upcoming exhibitions. I had a really great time and learned a lot of stuff, but it didn't leave me a lot of time for writing blog posts. All the free time I had I used to finish up my second graphic novel.

By May I was basically just completely burnt out. So I rested up, made some non-comic related art, and wrote some poems. I really just wanted to try something different that I could just do for fun. Last week I went home to St.T to visit my parents and friends for my birthday, and I had the best week ever! Now I'm feeling re-energized and I've got all kinds of ideas for writing that I'm ready to start on.

So I thought I'd start out by just giving a quick explanation as to where I've been. You can read some of the stuff I wrote and made on my Tumblr. I will be back again soon!

"Birdnest Hair." Watercolours and pen.

Pancake Day!

Today is Pancake Day! Also known as Shrove Tuesday or Fat Tuesday, it's a religious holiday meant to occur just before Lent. The idea is to feast on pancakes before fasting for Lent. I learned most of this from my Grandparents, who actually made me pancakes on Pancake Day when I was little, and continued to remind me of its existence as I grew up.

I'm not religious, but man do I love pancakes.

And, being a college student, I've learned a little bit about them. Meaning, the most basic pancake mix is cheap, only requires water, and lasts forever. Meaning, I've ate so many of them I might be turning into one.

But with that I've learned a few tricks, and I'm going to share my pancake knowledge with you. So here are some of my favourite recipes.

So as I mentioned before, most of the time I've got no choice but to use a basic store-bought pancake mix. However, THIS is a good basic pancake from scratch recipe to get you started.

I should also note, I don't include measurements because whenever I make stuff I just measure by how hungry I am. Directions for recipes always make you make enough mix for like eight people.

Blueberry - Oatmeal Pancakes

This was originally a waffle recipe, but I altered it to work for pancakes. Take your basic pancake mix and add:

• - A pinch of Allspice
• - A dash of vanilla extract
• - Some unsweetened apple sauce
• - Some maple syrup (yes it goes IN the pancake, not just on top!)
• - A bunch of plain cooking oats, or instant oatmeal. (I used instant oatmeal, but the original recipe calls for cooking oats and I'm too cheap to know the difference.)
• - And a bunch of frozen blueberries. (I imagine you can also use non-frozen blueberries, but I haven't tried it. You do it and let me know!)

Mix your spices and your oatmeal into your DRY pancake mix. Then make a hole in the center and add in your applesauce, maple syrup, and whatever other WET ingredients you need to make your pancakes. Mix it all together. Then let it sit for a few minutes, as it'll thicken up a bit. Then fold in your blueberries.

Now, your ready for cooking. Now, I don't really pay attention to instructions when I cook my pancakes? The box is always wrong, and it'll always burn em'. Your pancakes are ready for flipping when air bubbles appear on top, and the sides look brownish and kind of rounded off. Ok, that's a lot harder to explain in writing. You know what I'm saying, right? Keep practicing. You'll get the hang of it.

Soon you will be pancake master. Like me.

Bacon Pancakes

I know you've been waiting for this one. The one with meat in it.

Bacon pancakes are actually very easy to make, and have the perfect mix of sweet and salty. Also, two breakfasts totally makes a dinner.

Start out with your usual pancake mix. The only other ingredient you need besides that is bacon. I like to have my pancake mix ready before I start my bacon.

Next, fry your bacon to your liking. I've only ever used the strip bacon, and as far as I know the recipe only works with that kind. Does some brave individual want to try this with pemeal bacon? Try it and let me know.

Ok, set your bacon aside at the ready. Best to give it a minute to cool off, because you'll be handling it with your hands. Also, wash your hands.

Pour your pancake batter onto the frying pan, whatever your using. Then, take a strip of bacon and put it in the center of the pancake. Try not to burn your hands please. Push it down into the pancake with a spatula so its covered in batter, but not too far. You want it to be in the middle of the pancake. Turn your pancake over when it's ready, and cook as usual. Your bacon might cook a little extra when it's in the pancake, so if you hate crispy bacon keep that in mind when you're frying it.

Pumpkin Pancakes

You might remember I made these for Halloween. Well you know what, pumpkin pancakes is good all year round. Also I had a LOT of pumpkin pie filling left so I had to eat a lot of them. Be aware of that when you buy the filling. Maybe this would be good to make if you have any leftover from making a pumpkin pie or something?

Take your basic pancake mix and add:

• - Canned pumpkin
• - Ground cinnamon
• - Ground ginger

Mix your dry ingredients into the dry pancake mix, then add your wet stuff, then add the pumpkin. The mixture will be lumpy and thick, so don't worry about mixing it too much.

Cook them a little longer than you would regular pancakes. They'll be a little mushy no matter what, especially in the middle, don't worry about it. They'll also be this cute orangey colour.

(Another good thing to mix that canned pumpkin with is oatmeal - which is perfect because you'll probably have leftover plain oatmeal from the blueberry pancakes. See, I just set your breakfast for the week.)

Other Good Stuff to Mix into Pancakes:

• - Chocolate Chips
• - Diced Apples
• - All kind of frozen berries (this is especially good with syrup and whipped cream on top. I call it the "College Student Crepe.")
• - Sliced Almonds
• - Bananas
• - Peanut Butter
• - Yogurt
• - Cereal (I bet flavoured Cheerios or Frosted Flakes would be good)
• - Sprinkles (Hell, just go nuts in the desert aisle. If it fits in a regular cake, it fits in a pancake, I say.)

Other Good Recipes:

- Gluten Free Buckwheat Pancakes
- An Entire Website for Vegan Pancakes


I myself haven't tried all of these, so maybe y'all should experiment and get back to me? I am the pancake master. I am open to all questions and suggestions.

Happy noms my friends.

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I Don't Think I'll Go Outside Today... A Winter Mixtape

                       

I Don't Think I'll Go Outside Today from sympathy4leahp on 8tracks Radio.

It's cold here in Ottawa. This week it reached somewhere near -40 C, and it's been up and down for a while. Besides going to class and other necessities, I've been staying inside, curled up in pyjamas and blankets.This sort of weather can't help but breed indolence - it's hard to feel creative and excited about projects when all you want to do is be a human burrito.

So, I extend my apologies for quietness on the blog. I've made this playlist of winter/cold/snow and ice themed songs to try and get inspired again. Honestly, it was enough of a mental exercise just to find a decent number of good songs with winter themes in the first place. Hey, if you have any suggestions for future wintery mixtapes, let me know.

Now I will make myself some hot chocolate and make plans for future posts, to inject some energy back in here. Exciting things will happen! Here's a picture of The Decemberists.