Mocking ʺThe Roomʺ at the Mayfair

Last Saturday I went to my first ever interactive screening of a movie, the "Mock-Along" screening of The Room at the Mayfair Theatre. 

For those of you who don't know, The Room is the worst movie ever. Seriously. It's been called "the Citizen Kane of terrible movies" by Entertainment Weekly, and has been riffed by the best, including Rifftrax and Kevin Murphy of Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Adult Swim has shown it for April Fools Day pretty regularly, and it essentially has gained the biggest bad-movie cult status since Rocky Horror. Except it's actually terrible and not just weird.

The plot? Hold on, let me see if I can find one. Okay so, this guy Johnny, (played by Tommy Wiseau, who also wrote, directed, produced, and executive produced the film) is in love with this girl, whatsername. Doesn't matter. And she starts cheating on him with his best friend, because women, amiright? There are other sub-plots going on, but since most of them go absolutely no where and are barely noticeable to begin with, they're not really worth explaining. Eventually Johnny finds out about the two-timing, and (SPOILER ALERT) kills himself. Everyone is sad. Girl gets her comeuppance. That bitch.

I can't even begin to explain how bad this movie is. If that plot summary doesn't give you a good idea, the movie is terribly acted by pretty much everyone but Wiseau seems to be the worst, filmed so poorly it goes in and out of focus and some scenes are used multiple times, and contains something like five cringe inducing sex scenes, set to the most godawful 80's love-music you've ever heard. In fact, the whole movie looks like it was made in the late 80s. It was made in 2003.

You need to see this movie. But more importantly, you need to see it with other people.

The Mayfair theatre in Ottawa invites you to see this wonderful travesty of cinema in a big, beautiful theatre full of people who have seen it probably too many times. On top of mocking and riffing on the movie as loudly and proudly as you want while it plays, there's actually a list of things to do while watching, including:

• Yelling "SPOON!" and throwing spoons at the screen when you see background art featuring a spoon (and there's a lot more of that then there's any reason to be)
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• Yelling "I PUT MY EVIL INTO YOU" when Lisa's mother boops her on the nose (Lisa's mother having cancer is one of many plot lines brought up and abandoned)
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• Saying "Hi" to Danny when he shows up and "Bye" when he leaves. He does this a lot, rarely staying on screen for more then five minutes.
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• Telling the movie to "FOCUS" when it unfocuses, which it does a lot. And if it happens to focus during one of too many horrible sex scenes, tell it to "UNFOCUS! OH GOD UNFOCUS!"

And that's just a sample, you can find the full list at the Mayfair's blog. 

I'd never seen The Room before but I'd heard a lot about it, and wanted to see it. I love movies "so bad they're good," and even a few movies that are so bad they're just bad. I was a little intimidated going to an interactive screening like this being a first timer, but honestly it made it even better. It's a lot easier to laugh at and make fun of a bad movie in a group, even if you don't know everyone in the group. It took me a bit to catch on to the riffing, even reading the list ahead of time, but once I did all inhibitions were dropped and I was yelling and throwing spoons with the rest of them. Sometimes the yelling made it a little hard to hear the movie, but let's be honest this isn't the sort of movie you need to pay attention to to understand.

I had a great time and would recommend this to everyone who loves movies so bad they're hilarious, and anyone looking for a night out in Ottawa. The Mayfair does a screening like this once a month, their next one is on October 19th, but their calender is available on the website for future screenings. And of course, if you're not in Ottawa you can do this exact same thing from home - I think this would make an awesome party. Especially since there's also a drinking game - but I warn you, you will get slammed.

Links to Tear You Apart:
The Room Wikipedia
The Room IMDB
The Trailer (on Youtube)
The Official Website

"HAHA WHAT A STORY MARK!"

The Ottawa Zine-Off!

This last Wednesday I went to the Ottawa Zine-Off, a little get-together for Canadian zinesters and interested parties. I was one of the interested parties.

I've never made a zine before, but since I made a chapbook I've been looking into them a lot. I definitely want to make one, it's just a matter of figuring out what exactly I'd like to make it about, and getting the materials and such together to make one. I've been reading tons of how-to guides and looking at all kinds of material on the net', but when I saw the event I knew it would be the perfect opportunity to see some examples and maybe get some advice. The event was put together by JM Francheteau, whose zine I review below, and Maxx Critical. I unfortunately didn't grab a copy of her zine, The Reverse Cougar Years, but it's available on Pressed's zine rack so you can get a copy there.

The idea behind the event was that zinesters were given about a month to make a zine, and at the event they would trade and see what everyone made in this tight deadline. Of course that was just a suggestion, not a requirement! The real purpose of the event was to meet up, trade, and get to know the community. It was held at Pressed on Gladstone Ave, a small and very cute cafe/sandwich shop that had great food and drinks available. Everyone set up their zines on the tables and sort of went up and down the rows checking stuff out and talking.

This was only the beginning, the crowd got a lot bigger!

By the time the introduction got underway everyone had already started trading and talking, and the little cafe filled up very quickly! Everyone introduced their zines and talked a bit about what they were about. Most of the zines were available for free or to trade, but a few distros were also present, offering zines from people not present for a small fee. Pressed also had their own zine rack, with lots of great offerings. I picked up everything I could get my hands on. Let's take a look at what I got!

A zine can be about anything - from personal experiences to features, interviews, poetry, and whatever. I think I got an excellent variety, which is exactly what I wanted since I'm often so unsure about what I want to write about. So, a super speedy review list!

Divine Leaves by Marilyn Irwin - A zine about reading tea leaves. I love tea, and I love fortune-telling, so I'll definitely be keeping this handy guide with me for my future steeped divinations. Marilyn also gave me a bag of jasmine tea with it, delicious!

Scoopin Times by Alanna Why - This is one of the zines that was available on the Pressed zine rack. It's about working at an ice cream parlour, and the adventures to be had with weird customers and desperate attempts to pass the time. Very funny, with awesome art.

Frank by Courtney Davis - A zine of short, beautiful poetry with photos (by Jean Weekes). I really liked the simple but sweet design of this zine.

The Triumph of Our Tired Eyes (#3) by Amber Dearest - This is one of a few zines I picked up put out by Fight Boredom distro, which specializes in queer, feminist and anarchist zines. All three of those things make my heart smile so I was pretty stoked to read these, and I was not disappointed! This was a personal zine/tour diary from Amber Dearest, which talks about everything from using karaoke to build self-confidence to sampling as much soda as humanly possible, and a lot more.

Night Shift by JM Francheteau and Abby Kashul - JM is one of the cool peeps who organized the event, and this zine he's done with Abby Kashul was one of the best I got. It includes a feature about  a trip to the Scientology centre in Ottawa, an interview with the author of the longest piece of fiction in the English language, and a few funny personal stories.

Telegram (#28) by Maranda Elizabeth - Another zine from the Fight Boredom distro. In this personal zine, Maranda talks about publishing a book and going on tour while dealing with mental health issues, finding strength in friends, and shitty landlords. I found this zine very touching, and definitely want to read more from Maranda.

Where They Will Sit: Prophecies in Modern Office Furniture Design by Craig Calhoun - a conceptual zine that's like apocalyptic feng shui, detailing the effects of furniture placement upon the fragile office worker psyche.

Deafula (#4) - The last zine I picked up by Fight Boredom, Deafula is a personal zine about an anonymous girl's experiences being deaf. This issue focuses on employment, getting a job, keeping a job, and the experiences she's had at jobs. I found this zine very insightful, and entertaining too.

Pancake by Sacha K.W. - The main focus of this zine is an interview/review with punk band Screaming Females, but it also includes a little personal article about weird casette tapes found in Sacha's parent's basement. Very funny, and a great review/interview.

Kid Scissor Hybrid (Best of Issues 1 - 4) by Various Authors - This zine contains a number of articles by different people, about art, family, and the wonders of the internet, as well as some reviews, some poetry, and some comics. That's uh, the short version. Every article in this is like it's own little world, wholly original and completely different.

Overall I had a great time and loved everything I got. I want to get out and read more zines, not just from the authors I've found here but from everywhere, and most of all, I want to make my own!

If you have a zine, send it to me! I will love it and cherish it, and I'll review it on this blog, (a full review, not one of these mini ones.)

If you have any zine making advice for me, I'm also totally open to that. Send it my way!

If I've mentioned you or your zine up there and you have a site you want me to link to, or maybe some info I missed, let me know and I'll add it!

MORE USEFUL LINKS:
Ottawa Zines Facebook Group